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THE SEVEN
PATHWAYS
I.
The Call
II.
Departure/Entry
III.
The One Guide
IV. Trial
V.
Passage
VI.
Return
VII. Home
THE PATHWAYS
BOOKLET
PDF Format
Right-click to download
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I.
Can I name specific ways I was physically, emotionally, or sexually
hurt or abused now or in the past?
Can I express what I feel about how I was treated?
How do I continue on now with the feelings it produced?
There is a pain--so utter
It swallows substance up--
Then covers the abyss with trance--
So memory can step
Around--across--upon it |
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—Emily Dickinson
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| Children will not remember...the material things provided
but...the feeling that you cherished them. |
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—Gail Grenier Sweet
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Only boys keep their cheeks dry.
Only boys are afraid to cry.
Men thank God for tears
Alone with the memory of their dead,
Alone with lost years. |
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—Vachel Lindsay
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| The destruction that brings an eagle from heaven is better
than mercy. |
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—Robinson Jeffers
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II.
Can I name the unmet needs that my recurring difficulties with people
and my addictions are trying to take care of?
What about boundaries: how free am I about allowing other people
to say yes or no to my requests or needs; or about allowing myself
to say yes or no as I wish to theirs?
| We try so hard to get from others what once we missed. |
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—David Richo
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| We tend to long sexually for whatever is lacking in our ...development. |
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—John Sanford
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| In practice it means...the woman of your choice represents
your own task that you did not understand. |
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—Carl Jung
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| The human animal needs...freedom from intrusion. privacy quite
as much as...understanding. |
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—Phyllis McGinley
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III.
What particular images about being myself, being a man, or having
my male sexuality, do I carry from my father, my mother, other people
in my life, or from experiencing my society's expectations?
Do I define myself through other people or things-- in what ways?
| Go back to yourself. For nothing can begin from nothing, and
it is from your past, and from what you are at this moment,
that what you are going to be must spring. |
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—Andre Gide
tr. John Russell
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| The hero idealizes his absent father; this gives the heroic
son a taste for performance that knows no limits...In extreme
cases, only the trauma...from some catastrophic event...can
put a stop to it. |
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—Guy Corneau
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| If dad's first love was his work, we take our job to be our
full-time mistress and wonder if Dad is watching from his grave
as we work ourselves into an early one. |
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—John Lee
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| I grew up to have my father's looks, my father's speech patterns,
my father's posture, my father's walk, my father's opinions
and my mother's contempt for my father. |
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—Jules Feiffer
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| Denying what actually happened between his longings and his
father's reactions to him keeps to [a man] returning to his
father...A man has to get out of his parents' village with his
longing intact. Facing the wound from the father makes clear
the unfulfilled longing and makes a man's inner life more real.
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—Michael Meade
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